Using Technology in Adoptions

Like many other family law attorneys, adoption is an issue that presents itself every once in a while but certainly not as often as divorce or custody cases. According to the US Department of Health & Human Services, there are 107,000 children and youth in foster care waiting to be adopted and a multiple number of parents desiring to adopt them. We don’t know why, but somehow we missed covering National Adoption Month in November so please forgive us the lapse as we attempt to right this wrong!

We believe adoption is an amazing life change for the adoptive parents, the child, and the biological parents and we support efforts to bring together the parties for the good of all involved. There are international adoption opportunities in Asia, Russia, and Eastern European nations, and domestic adoptions from right in our own backyards. It can be a costly undertaking (from $5,000 to more than $100,000 but averaging around $20,000) to adopt an infant and sometimes a bit less for an “older child”. There’s even an income tax credit for adoption that is set to expire at the end of this year (but it sure is a good one so we had to detail it here). According to the IRS:

“In 2010 and 2011, you may be able to take a refundable tax credit for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child (including a child with special needs). This means that you could qualify for a tax refund even if you did not have federal income tax withheld. For tax years prior to 2010, the adoption credit is not refundable.”

One of the biggest barriers to adoption is matching an eligible child with eager parents. An average wait time for an eligible child can be measure in years rather than months in most cases, and especially in an international adoption. So one woman in 2008 decided to use technology to speed up the matching process here in the US. Dr. Lori Ingber, PhD, founded ParentMatch.com not as an adoption agency or a facilitator but as an adoption resource for agencies and parents.

According to its website, the Parent Match database is only accessible by registered adoption agencies and not by prospective birth parents or adoptive parents in an effort to maintain confidentiality. There is a monthly fee that agencies pay for access, but it seems nominal given the searchable database they provide that is reportedly the only one of its kind available (and the technology is patent pending). They list the benefits of their service on the website and minimizing cost and time spent on the adoption process receive top billing as they should.

We think it’s a great way to use technology to solve a pervasive problem in the world of adoption, and we are eager to learn more about it. Please share with us your adoption stories – the successes and the frustrations – because even though we’re celebrating National Adoption Month a few days late, celebrate it we are!

An Adoption Calculator

As a Family Law attorney I not only handle divorces, child support and custody issues, and other matters related to the dissolution of a marriage. I also help families with adoption issues, and I recently discovered a website that has what’s called an “adoption calculator” to predict the length of time it takes to adopt a child from China. I cannot vouch for the analytics behind the calculator, but it is an interesting exercise. Don’t be alarmed if you use it and your predicted wait time is 3+ years. It seems so effortless when you watch the guys on ABC’s Modern Family as they plan to adopt their second baby from China in three years. But the reality is far different from the sitcom.

The adoption process rightfully requires some serious effort and financial commitment on the part of the adopting parents. A homestudy is required as is submission of numerous financial documents, references, birth and marriage certificates, visa applications etc. Each country has its own process and requirements. Once you have the dossier completed then it’s time to wait for a match with a child. Once matched, you will receive a medical review of the child’s condition and you can then proceed to plan your trip to take custody of your new child. A final court hearing will then finalize the adoption. If you’re lucky this entire process will occur within 36 months. Remember when Sandra Bullock told the world that it took her 3 years to adopt her “Cajun cookie”, son Louis? That seems to be the common wait time.

Adopting a child is a life-changing event, and so many parents choose to start or add to their families by welcoming a child from another mother. It isn’t an inexpensive or speedy endeavor, but one that will forever change both your life and the life of the child. Adoption is well worth the time and effort and expense but you must be patient with the process. After all, a child is worth the wait.

Adoption, Abandonment, and Steve Jobs

There was a lot of coverage in the news last week when one of the greatest visionaries of our time passed away at the rather young age of 56. Of course, we are referring to the co-founder of Apple, Steve Jobs. Even if you are not a fan of the Mac, iPod, iPad, or iPhone, there is no question that Mr. Jobs forever changed the way we use technology in our daily lives. But, like the apple with a missing bite that is the iconic symbol of his business legacy, Mr. Jobs too had a little piece missing from him.

While he was a very private man, we rarely saw his wife or children, there is a personal fact that we do know about him; Mr. Jobs was adopted.  And, while he did have some sort of relationship with his birth mother and sister, he chose (according to the Jobs’ Family) to never meet his birth father. The little we do know about his estrangement from his father comes from that man himself in a tastefully done Wall Street Journal article published a few days after Mr. Jobs’ death.

Abdulfattah “John” Jandali and Joanne Simpson were unmarried graduate students when their baby boy was born in San Francisco in 1955. Ms. Simpson was determined to have her baby adopted by a college educated couple, but when that wasn’t possible she entrusted her child to Clara and Paul Jobs. Ms. Simpson and Mr. Jandali eventually did marry and had a daughter, Mr. Jobs’ sister the novelist Mona Simpson, before splitting up for good.

As an adult, Mr. Jobs sought out his birth mother but not his birth father, and according to Mr. Jandali, it’s because he “abandoned his family.” He continues by remarking that his daughter Mona’s 1993 novel “The Lost Father” was

 “ …her way of venting, and it’s OK. She’s entitled to that. It’s the price to pay for not being there for your child when you’re a father. Even though I don’t see her, I love her dearly.”

So while Mr. Jandali did ‘know’ his daughter, he reportedly didn’t discover that the world-renowned computer genius Steve Jobs was his son until 2005.

Mr. Jandali does own two Apple computers, an iPad, and buys each release of the iPhone as it becomes available. He does claim that an email he sent to Mr. Jobs about six weeks ago was replied to with a simple ‘thank you’, but the Jobs Family says that didn’t happen. It’s unfortunate to know that Mr. Jobs died with seemingly unresolved issues with his birth father, but who knows what Mr. Jobs’ life path would have been if Paul and Clara Jobs had never come into his life. One thing is certain, said Mr. Jandali as he waved his iPhone4, “They produce the best. Steve Jobs was a genius.”

Rest in Peace Steve Jobs